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Lesbian Bed Death - Riot of the Living Dead

Lesbian Bed Death - CD Review
Riot of the Living Dead
Lesbioan Bed Death - Riot of the Living Dead

CD Info

2012
 Psychophonic Records 
 13 Tracks

English Lyrics



Well, there’s Gothic, and then there’s Gothic. This one is on the kinkier side of Gothic, there’s lots of horror but it’s pretty much all in good fun. LBD is an English band, and they seem to have good times with blood and gore. They’ve been around for a while. Their last release, Designed By The Devil, Powered By The Dead was a bit more traditional Gothic in tone, a melodic sound that blended in with much of the more popular Gothic sounds of the day. But, the band went with a new vocalist, Kittie Racchea, and decided to go in some new directions. How do we classify it? Well, the band suggested "Gothic Punk meets Hard Rock" but added that "Kinky Gothic" might also be OK. Anyway you classify it this is damn sure some fun stuff.

Now I know you’re wondering about the band name, it is a classic, IMO. But, us shrinks always have that "need to know" regarding things like this and, consequently, I did a little research. Turns out it actually does refer to a sexual phenomenon related to lesbian relationships. It seems that, based on some less than stellar research, lesbians have LESS sex, and less sexual variety than other types of relationships, at least according to that one major study conducted during the late 70s. That research led to a cottage industry of experts who claim to have "the cure". Unfortunately, I missed this trending development during my clinical days, or I might be a happier man today. But, for whatever reason, the band picked up on the term and somehow managed to make it work for them. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your sexual interests, there’s not any lesbian sex or death on this release, at least not that I’ve been able to uncover, and I’ve looked. There is, however, a lot of nontraditional death, most of it of the campy variety.

The band doesn’t seem to limit their cutting up to the recorded music either. They carry through on their other activities, like performing at "Countdown to The End of the World" party last year (20/12/2012, remember that one?). They promoted the event saying, "We’ll all be dead before Christmas, just time for one final drink." Special events included, Post Apocalyptic Fancy Dress, Flaming Sambucas and Blackout Absinthe + Bubbles Cocktails. Sounds like a great way to check out to me. And, their videos are also solid. The big one for this release is Moonlight (Version 2), shown in all its blood, a bit of sex and a lot of 60s horror movie motif. It’s hard to have this much fun legally, well, other than running a "Cure for Lesbian Bed Death" Clinic I guess. The video, I’m told, has an interesting history, as explained here: "Mr Peach (Rhythm guitarist) had the idea for the Moonlight story. It was shot at Ingestre Hall, near Stafford (UK). We had a fantastic director (Darren Teale) and a great team of actors, who really brought it to life. We parted ways with our previous singer just before the second album came out, committing commercial suicide. We re-recorded Moonlight with our new singer, and did the video. It marks the rebirth of Lesbian Bed Death, and we're all really proud of it." I haven’t had this much fun with a video since some of that new stuff Therion did for their last release, booze, sex, murder and the undead, perfect.

The band’s history is nothing short of fascinating. You can catch a lot of it here and it pretty much reflects this component of the English musical scene. Their classic track, Goth Girls are Easy got the band going and sure enflamed my interest in that segment of the female subculture. But, they’ve continued to evolve and the present release seems to be the most interesting yet. Assuming you go for vampires, slow death and other related topics of interest. But, that assumes the stories are the topic of interest. Probably not always the case. You actually get some pretty good metal, not what I’d call symphonic, no death metal vocals, the opera vocals are a little light, no choral work. This ain’t what we typically get here, but, it’s solid music, some pretty good musicians and a more than adequate vocal. It’s like the 80s, musically, but with a more compelling story to each track. And don’t expect this to appear on Christian Rock 98.7. The antichrist might actually find this offensive, and the Right Reverend Souls United would be having a psychotic episode after track one. So, you need to get into your kinky lifestyle, put away your vampire movies and crank up the high end sound system to get the full flavor of this one. And, enjoy the gore.

First thing you need to get clear is that there’s a lot of music here. A lot of tracks, and none are the 1 minute variety, it takes time to establish death and destruction at this level, be prepared to spend time here. So, we can’t talk about all of them, some shine in a musical sense, others tell a tale worth relating. I’m not saying the lyrics are straight from Wordsworth but they are a bit amusing, they blend with the musical vehicle in that campy direction we’ve been talking about. And, in between those blood thirsty lines, you occasionally get a screeching guitar to remind you that there’s some fine metal in the land of blood and gore. This is a pretty solid instrumental bunch, even if they take a back seat to the devastation all around them. And our red haired vocalist is more than up to the task of telling those tales from hell, she does it with flair.

Ok, let’s look at a few of these beauties. Darkness Falls begins the barrage of blood. Some guitar riffing from the land of the undead to wake you from your listless slumber. This is pretty much a traditional rock sound, better than average guitars, lots of hard hitting stuff with a better than average vocal. She’s not Tarja or Floor, but she’s not trying to be. Although I must say, when she wants to crank it up a few decibels, she does have some capability to belt it out. However, the second track, Soul Sucker may be more reflective of the LBD sound. This one rocks in the true tradition of female fronted rockers from back in the day. But, they rarely screamed:

You'll get what you deserve / You filthy rotten heart breaking perv
Now I see that you / You're just a soul sucker
You're everywhere I look / You sick motherfucker
One day I'll show you pain / I'll make you watch
While I eat your brains


You know, I’ve heard similar lines from my second wife, in Ukrainian of course, which deflects some of the anger since I couldn’t understand it, but the message was clear.

The majority of the material here is somewhat similar, most of it is relatively heavy hitting rock. If you’re looking for dark meaning, well, this goes to vampires and murder, not existential philosophy. But, even with that restriction, I got a kick out of a number of the tracks. And, they’ve got another video out from this one, maybe better than the first one. This one’s called Halloween and, come on folks, you gotta get into this one. Huge white snakes, strippers, parties. Damn, reminds me of the Toga parties back in undergraduate school, to the extent that I can still remember them. Again, the lyrics won’t work on Christian rock, although the music might: 


Fresh out of candy, all I have is despair / I’ll make you scream, while I rip out your hair
Yeah yeah. While I rip out your hair
Kill all your friends then I’ll come tie you up / I’ll slit your throat boy, I don’t give a fuck
Yeah yeah. Boy, I don’t give a fuck


Rockabilly Bitch actually has a bit of a "rockabilly" sound to it, not sure how that got to Merry Ol’ England from the backwoods of America but it’s interesting. The band talked about it, "We're planning a video shoot for Rockabilly Bitch late July. It's a cool song, and is about fantasies coming true, but dealing with them in reality can be a different ball game." Having spent significant time in those backwoods, I can sure suggest some story lines for the video, especially if they give me that stripper from the Halloween video. But, again, we get campy lyrics meant to titillate rather than send you to your Complete Works of Kant:

Sex and drugs and rock n’ roll / Makes you wanna lose control
Steamy crazy she loves life / Cut the tension with a knife
Pictures in the magazines lead to uncontrollable teens
Pages are stuck together / And you’ve never even met her

 


 

Seven Days changes the pace a little. It starts out with a phone message "Please leave your message after the tone" done with a London accent, a very sexy London accent. This is kind of the ballad of the work; Kittie goes rather lovely here, at least vocally. But, it’s hard to keep a straight face when you hear a lovely vocal crooning,

There's a place inside my head / Filled with visions of the dead
Floating deep inside this well / Trapped in my own version of hell

Clearly, this bunch doesn’t take much seriously, although this is a nice sounding track.

Well, it’s a different approach to the Femme Metal thing. If you can’t get past Nightwish and Delain this might not work for you. But, I’m into them as much as anyone and I sure enjoy this. The band is working on a new release, hopefully with some new videos to replicate what we have here. And, I’m working on a new clinical treatment having something to do with women who. . .well, stay tuned. My business card is being altered as we speak, with an LBD logo.

9.5 / 10